College is a huge choice to make for all high school graduates. You are constantly on the fence about what you want to do for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE or what school would be the best fit for you (am I wanting to party my four years into happiness with friends, hook ups and Greek life or actually get done and be an adult with my dream house, husband and five kids?). For me, this choice seemed too easy. My mom was a nurse and always drilled it into my head that medical field was the way to go because there will always be jobs. So, I did my research and found a "fitting" job that did not involve needles and seeing someone that just came out of a horror film on a daily basis. This was Radiation Therapy. There was only one school in Missouri that offered this program which happened to be at my dream school, Saint Louis University; home of the rich, prestigious and high job placement graduates. I was ecstatic! These therapist work with cancer patients and start out making $80,000 and up to in the $100,000 a year. I would be set for life. My family was so excited that I would make something of myself and my grandparents raved about it because I was their only grandchild in college. I had received a full ride to a local community college to get an associates degree to get my general education classes out of the way so I started off there because lets face it, SLU was $40,000 a year...I would be in debt for a long time. So I worked hard for two years, sometimes taking seven classes and working full time at a daycare just to afford my upcoming new life. In my final class of my last semester at the community college I met my current boyfriend Tim Burton; yes just like the creepy movie guy (but they are polar opposite people). I applied to the program that only allowed 12 people in a year; on of the hardest medical programs to get into that I worked my ass off for. I finally got a letter in the mail that said I was one of the three who was admitted above over 200 applicants...some of which already had a medical degree. He decided to go to Lindenwood for teaching while I went to SLU. At first, SLU was magical; a huge beautiful campus, a promising future, and half way to graduation. But as the semester went on, I grew tired of traveling in hour long traffic, aggravated at listening to snobby people talk about how their A in the class was not high enough or they were broke because they only had $5,000 in their account when I am sitting over here working at a daycare, doing homework, and paying for gas and bills, broke as a moe trying to afford this place or teachers that did not care to help but rather "weed out the week ones." I soon found that I was unhappy, this was not my dream school, and that I did not want to work in a field where I meet dying people everyday, become friends and watch them die painfully. It really takes a toll on your emotions if you add all of those factors in. In that moment I had a break down. Tim was not happy where he was, I was not either, our relationship went down hill fast and he thought about moving far away to a college where our relationship would dissolve. I felt lost with no back up plan, stuck in a place I hated and in debt from something that made me miserable. From here, I came to the realization that I did this for what society and my family had wanted, not for myself. I had striven for something that would give me money and security for the REST OF MY LIFE. But I was not happy and I needed to do something for myself. I had been living my whole life to meet everyone's expectations and not living my life for myself. I did not want to let people down and that was my problem. So I did the best thing for myself. After months of my parents trying to change my mind and my grandparent's guilt trips about throwing my future away and a once in a life time opportunity that most people could not even get away, I quit. Only Tim was the only one who encouraged me to be happy and showed me the light of my choices. Now being a normal human being in today's society you probably think I am crazy right? I'll admit, I questioned it myself....I just threw it away....but I didn't. Weeks went on and I went back to the community college trying to figure out what to do with my life. I worked a lot more and a light when on in my head...I loved my job, it was like a release for me and my class of three year old children often made my day. Teaching was my calling. I always enjoyed spending my days playing with children, watching them grow into their personalities, helping them find the wonders of life...it was passion. My mom was skeptical about teaching because it is hard to find a job but the next fall I started the education program at Maryville University, the school my mom went to for nursing and I absolutely love it!! (of course mom loved that I went to her school so she became happy again). It was the best choice I have made for myself in a long time. I feel like a weight has been lifted and my future actually is filled with happiness, not money. Like the saying goes, Money can't buy happiness and I'd rather live a happy life with the simple things than live a life of money with little happiness and no true friends. Everything is working out the way it should. Even Tim was inspired and quit the teaching program at Lindenwood, a place he hated as well, and now goes to Maryville for engineering and our relationship has been stronger than ever because we are both doing things that make us happy. Now, I do not write this post to brag, or make you feel sorry for me, or tell you that high paying jobs are bad...but to simply open your mind and make sure that YOU are happy with your future. If you love money and your job, great! If you think I am crazy for taking a huge pay cut and following my dreams because I believe being happy is what life is about then so be it...just do not lie to yourself like I did, go into huge debt, and then find what was wrong because then you just wasted your time. So go out there and find your happiness...in whatever way it comes in because this is the only life you get so enjoy it! :)
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